The “glass ceiling” is a phrase coined in 1978 by management consultant Marilyn Loden, and defined by Merriam-Webster as “an intangible barrier within a hierarchy that prevents women or minorities from obtaining upper-level positions.”

In my coaching practice over the past 15 years, I’ve witnessed many brilliant women bump up against and break through the glass ceiling. I’ve also observed a lesser known, but equally powerful, barrier to women’s success. I call it the Inner Glass Ceiling (IGC).

Unlike the traditional glass ceiling, the IGC is self-imposed. It is a potent combination of fear and self-sabotage that creates a limited mindset that undermines your ability to rise to your full potential.

The IGC is a classic “Upper Limit Problem” as described by psychologist and author Gay Hendricks. In his book, The Big Leap, he explains that we each have an inner set point for sustainable success.

When we reach our upper limit, or surpass our set point, we sabotage our success and bring ourselves back into our comfort zone. Examples of this include missing an important deadline or bombing in a high-stakes presentation because of insufficient preparation.

You must shatter your IGC in order to break through the traditional glass ceiling. Here are three ways to do that:

Let’s be honest--we all want to be liked. But when the need to be liked overrides the courage to make unpopular decisions, personal integrity can easily be compromised. As a leader there are times when you must speak truth to power, or take a stand for what is right.

In my coaching practice, people pleasing is more of an issue for my women clients. Women are generally socialized to be pleasing and are rewarded for being pleasant. In fact, research shows:

“....high-achieving women experience social backlash because their very success – and specifically the behaviors that created that success – violates our expectations about how women are supposed to behave. Women are expected to be nice, warm, friendly, and nurturing….”

~Ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen if you’re not liked, or you make someone angry, or you make an unpopular call?

~Which of these is more important: being in integrity/doing the right thing or being liked? If you’d rather be liked, how do you reconcile being out of integrity?

Valuing perfection over excellence is much like the dog chasing its own tail in a futile attempt to attain something that’s just out of reach. After a while, the dog is worn out and so is everyone else.

Perfectionism is also a deterrent to high-performance, because it increases the fear of failure, and discourages the risk-taking necessary to meet challenges.

Recently, I reviewed a client’s 360 feedback report, which identified some of her development areas as slow decision-making and being highly risk-avoidant. Her team was becoming frustrated and lethargic. We discovered perfectionism was at the root of her challenges.

Try these practices I shared with my client:

~Identify when you get hijacked by perfectionism.

~Create a Value Bank. At the end of each day, list three successes from the day and deposit them. This will help you realize the ongoing value that you add to your organization.

~Create easily identifiable markers of excellence so that your team has clear goals and guidelines.

I recently coached a woman executive who was outperforming all of her male colleagues. Interestingly, there was one man on her team who always made jokes about her to the group, insisting that it was all “in good fun”.

At first, my client went along with the laughing because she did not want to “make a fuss about it”. As we explored her growing feelings of resentment and anger, she realized that her colleague’s joking was intended to belittle her accomplishments.

She knew she had to speak up, but was afraid she would become overly emotional. We worked on helping her control her emotions enough to be able to speak clearly and firmly to her colleague. The next time he made her the butt of his joke, she calmly asked him to not joke about her anymore. That’s all it took – he never did it again.

If you’re struggling with speaking up, try this:

~Identify and understand your emotions. How do you FEEL about the situation and the actions of others?

~What boundaries were crossed by the other person’s behavior?

~Prepare and practice what you want to say. Be clear, concise, and factual. What do you want the other person to do or stop doing? Write out your statement if that’s helpful.

The Inner Glass Ceiling is a powerful, self-imposed barrier to your success. 

Created by fear and a limited mindset, it is strengthened by people pleasing, perfectionism, and not speaking up. Use the techniques and practices in this article to shatter your IGC, break through the traditional glass ceiling, and rise in your career.

~If you are a woman leader who wants to shatter your inner glass ceiling and level up your authentic executive presence, don’t miss the next LeadHERship Presence™ Workshop for Professional Women on November 7-8, 2018 in Phoenix, AZ.

More info here: www.leadhershippresence.com

KUDOS FOR LHP:

“I wish I had had this type of training and coaching earlier in my career. The tools and feedback from this class are invaluable for any woman navigating through executive offices.”

~ VP, Fortune 100 Company